I find myself in a place where I am still nursing my now toddler, and it’s both amazing and wild. I think about how far we’ve come from the possibility that it wouldn’t work, to letting us see where the journey takes us. 

Lately I’ve been reflecting on this new stage of nursing as my daughter increases her verbal skills, develops preferences, and is figuring out how to develop a sense of control of her needs and preferences. Gone are the days where I, as mom, run the show the nursing show. My daughter is now developing autonomy over self and has her preferences of how we sit, where we sit, how long she nurses, and when she wants to switch sides. Sometimes these preferences can feel demanding and like I’ve lost control over the situation, not to mention it can also feel like I’m just a milk vessel. However, I think about what all of these choices and preferences mean to my daughter and how big this is in her world. 

I’ve realized that nursing my toddler and giving into her preferences, and sometimes demands, means she’s learning how to exert herself and speak up for what she wants in life. She’s starting with a safe place and figuring out how to control her world. Sure we often need to have limits based on what we’re doing, if we need to be heading out somewhere, etc. but most of the time we’re in a place where the only person inconvenienced by her demands, is me. Rather than thinking about how frustrating these demands can be, or that I wanted to get something done, I let go in that moment and relish in her growth. As we’re sitting there, switching sides, going from sitting to lying, or to who knows what request, I think about how good she must feel to speak up and understand she has control. The rush of knowing you can have control over a situation and direct your own needs, that’s such a huge life step.

So for now I’ll give into (most of) the crazy demands and I’ll lose out on a little personal space or time to myself, but someday in the future we won’t be nursing anymore, and when it’s over hopefully she’ll have a great foundation of knowing how to speak up for what she wants.