If someone had told me that one day I would be breastfeeding my child in the middle of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, I would have though, “Yeah right.” Yet, it did happen.

So, I’d like to talk about the time I took my child on Pirates of the Caribbean… at 17 months old… right around lunch and nap time, which she’d had neither. 

If you just read that and thought to yourself, “Wow, what kind of stupid parenting decision was that?” Well, you would in fact be quite correct with that thinking. It was a stupid decision. 

I must say, I questioned myself before the ride. In fact, I questioned even taking her on the ride weeks before the trip, but people assured me it was fine because it wasn’t a scary ride. Now, I’ve been on Pirates of the Caribbean more times than I can count, I know it has two drops, I know how dark it is, how loud it can be, and I had my doubts; but I ignored that mommy hunch and just went right on a head. Ugh, I wonder if I will forever cringe at this moment. 

Anyway, so there we are, boarding the boat, me questioning my decision but thinking “she can handle it” and the first twinge of concern pops up as my daughter tries to stand up. However, it’s too late by this point as we’re past the ramp and I can’t do anything. Cue bro dudes in front of us (legit the entire four rows in front of us) who started screaming in fake fear as we neared the first drop. I don’t know what was more terrifying to my daughter, the screaming bro dudes or the drop. No, when I think about it, it was absolutely the screaming bro dudes. Regardless, the combo was horrendous and I now had a terrified toddler and a 15 minute ride to get through. 

I was now the person with a screaming child who was ruining the ride for everyone else. On top of that, I also had screaming bro dudes now making numerous comments about crying babies, and a nice couple behind us who probably thought I was stupid. To say that I wanted to crawl into a hole and never ben seen again, is putting it lightly.

So what does a nursing mama do when everything goes terrible and there’s no hugs and gentle shushing that will help? Whip out a boobie, of course! That’s right, right there in the middle of the pirates ride I sat her on my lap and let her suckle away her fears. I was now not only the mother who brings her much too young child on a scary ride, I was now a breastfeeding in public in a boat full of bro dudes, mother. Just slap a mother of the year award on me, nothing else needed.

Insert big sigh. 

That pirate breastfeeding moment will now live forever in my memories. I can only hope that one day when I tell the story, with tears of laughter in my eyes, that my daughter will laugh along with me rather than talk about the years of therapy she needed to get past it.